This new year has really crept up on me and I can’t believe that it will be the year 2020 soon! 2019 Was a year of great transformation and really seemed to fly by.
My youngest daughter, my baby girl Emerson, turned a year old in December which was the biggest Event of the year . Babies grow and change so much in the first year- especially this pretty girl ! She started walking at 11 months and will probably be talking in full sentences soon!
As for my health goals when I look back at my journal and what I wrote I can say that I am really proud of myself for accomplishing most of my goals. I have been able to lose all of my baby weight which was very difficult at first. I wrote a post about finding out about my hypothyroidism which I think really enabled me to be successful. But going on weight watchers helped as well.
I decided not to renew my weight watchers app subscription this month and it is really difficult to make sure that I’m eating the right things and not going overboard. I might have to do some budgeting with my husband to see if we can fit it in Because it really is so helpful. I even re-downloaded my fitness pal which tracks your calories but just doesn’t seem as easy as the weight watchers app.
Now that I feel like I’ve gotten my fitness and my body back I am really hoping to qualify again for the Boston Marathon- I will have to try for the 2021 race because you already have to qualify for the 2020. But I am super excited about getting to run the Disney Marathon on January 12!! My training hasn’t been as consistent as it should be because it’s hard to be away from my little one so long to fit in the long runs But I am going to give it my all and do my best And also just try to have fun and enjoy it!
Another goal that I’m very proud of is making it to the one year mark with nursing! I’ve done such a good job breast-feeding and fact that I can’t get my little one to stop! She is addicted to the boob ! Lol . I’ve been so blessed to be able to stay home with her so it made nursing so easy but now I’m ready to permanently detach her , she doesn’t seem to like cows or almond milk much at all . The nursing itself is a comforting thing for her so she wants to nurse to sleep or when she needs it - since she won’t take a pacifier or suck her thumb . :/ so we are continuing to nurse but I am really trying to offer milk and lots of food during the day and cutting down on as many feedings as possible . I’m so thankful again that we have made it this far and attribute the fact that she hasn’t really been sick or gotten any ear infections in her life to breastfeeding and also not being in day care of course but mama is ready to get some independence back ! And maybe Even head back to teaching next school year .
I just ordered a new planner for the new year and can’t wait for it to get here . Since learning about goal setting and the law of attraction about 3 years ago , I feel like it has been the driving force behind all my major recent accomplishments. This is the planner I ordered and used the similar one before . https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07DCS8Y2B/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1When it gets here I will go through some GTD M.I.N.D dump exercises and also some goal setting visualizations . Id really like to make some vision boards too - particularly for the house I want us to buy ! One of my biggest goals for the new year is SELLING OUR CONDO, finding a bigger house with an in law suite AND MOVING my mom down to FLorida from Maryland! It has been so difficult living in a city with no friends or family. Since losing my son Mason in October 2018, I have wanted nothing but to be closer to my family. It really is all I can focus on (besides running and my little ones) and I feel like my life is on hold until I can at least get my mom closer. She is ready to move- as soon as we sell our condo.
In the mean time - I wanted to share a great recipe for healthy snack I’ve been making since starting weight watchers and losing all my baby weight . I am literally a candy addict - but a crazy one because I don’t crave chocolate- I crave fruity / sour junk ! I could sit down and literally eat an entire box of fruit roll ups in one sitting. Using the weight watchers app I was able to come up with a healthy version THAT I AM ADDICTED TO!
Most days I will make my Healthy Fruit Leather in the morning and eat nothing but that until around 3 pm when I have a low carb turkey wrap and then will usually splurge on dinner (as far as calories). I know that dinner shouldn't be your splurge meal but my hubs is picky about the meals we eat together and prefers TASTE over health benefit. So basically- he is NOT into eating a lot of healthy dinners - especially if he is cooking. It is bound to be delicious BUT SUPER FATTENING! LOL
So here is the amazing Fruit Leather recipe that I LOVE!
Ingedients:
Unsweetened Applesauce
Fresh fruit ( Blueberries, strawberries, grapes) one or all three! I take the softer ones and throw them in and honestly it saves me from wasting fruit because I only like to eat the fresh 'hard' crunchy ones.
Parchment paper
THAT'S IT!
Steps:
Preheat oven to convect 200 degress
I cover two cookie sheets with parchment paper (or your LEATHER WILL STICK!)
Then I take half the LARGE jar of unsweetened applesauce and throw it in my food processor.
I put in about half of a container of fresh blueberries (THIS IS A SUPER FOOD!) I use the squishy, over ripe ones.
Then I blend away until the berries are smooth
Then I pour the mixure evenly onto the two cookie sheets and move the sheet around until the mixture is an even thin layer across the cookie sheets.
Then you pop those babies in the oven for at least 2 hours- sometimes more depending on the thickness. I check the edges to see if it is ready- it will easily peel off the paper.
AND I can literally eat two cookie sheets full in 2 minutes time! LOL if not I put the remainder in ziploc bags!
YUM!
Sweet tooth craving BLASTED!
This marathon was just a dream come true . I have to just thank god first before I say anything because without Him nothing I do, have or accomplish would be possible !
So I went in to my 6th marathon the dysfunctional way I do a lot of things in life - by procrastinating - true ADHD style .
It all started a year ago , after I had my fourth baby - Emerson in December 2018 .
I had planned on trying to maintaining my fitness and endurance throughout my pregnancy because 2016-2017 - I was at my peak running performance after qualifying for Boston with a pr marathon time of 3:36 at the Donna Marathon in Jax beach . The Boston marathon was a lifetime bucket list experience so much that when I ran it - my whole goal was just to finish . I didn’t realize that I would be so disappointed if I didn’t qualify AGAIN for the next year .
Unfortunately, I had to stop running early in my pregnancy because of placenta previa . So I stopped running and just focused on my healthy baby girl .
After I had her it was a HARD struggle to try to get back my stamina . I started slow on the treadmill and didn’t feel or see a lot of progress . I was breastfeeding as well so I was really just focused on my new little angel and making sure my body was giving her what she needed . It wasn’t until October 2019 that I decided I could really focus on seriously on my running .
I made a commitment to do that by finding and registering for the Disney marathon - January 2020! I told myself - if I can’t qualify for Boston - the only next best experience I can imagine is running through the happiest place on earth - Disney !
So I registered and started reading about and focusing on marathon training . However - like many things - life gets in the way . I had NO problem running everyday but I did struggle to get in my long runs because it was hard to be away from my little one so long and to get my husband to watch her .
So when I started to see the PCB marathon advertised , I wondered if I should try to run it ! I ran it in 2016 and 2017 but I was no where near the shape I was then .
The longest run I was able to squeeze in was 16 miles and it was miserable . I decided to switch to Brooks ghost for a change from the hokas and even though they felt great at first I started to get a lot of right hip / hamstring pain and wondered if it was the shoes .
It made me nervous to try to run a full marathon like that because of possible injury .
Despite all that - I asked my husband if I could run the pcb marathon and he agreed ! I was happy but stressed . I mentioned to him my shoe dilemma and to my surprise he came home from work with my Christmas present - the new Hoka carbon x . They only had a 71/2 which I usually get an 8 but for a racing shoe - I felt like it would be okay .
For The week leading up to the marathon i felt anxious and excited . To combat my anxiety I started listening to my audio books - race everything , the new rules of running on running on audible and all the marathon podcasts , and YouTube videos I could find . I felt like I needed a very structured race day plan to balance out my lack of actual long run training . I was also trying to make sure I was running as efficiently as possible and trying to correct whatever it was that was making my feet supinate while I ran . The outside edges of my shoes were so wore down that it was clear I was either heel striking or not rolling my feet inward .
With all those resources I put together a marathon notes page on my iPhone . Some things I already knew from previous marathons was what to pack to carry with me .
A lot of my choices this race broke all the “rules” of prepping for the race .
First I wanted to try new fuel- so I ordered a pack of the mixer flavors of Tail wind . I had heard of this from a lot of ultra marathoners who were on running podcasts like marathon training academy . I also heard of SIs isotonic gels . So I ordered those too.
The night before the race , I picked the cola caffeinated tail wind flavor - mixed it with water and out it in the fridge . I had a water bottle hand strap that I would use to carry that bottle . I’m used to carrying my phone and water - but BOY did it make my left arm sore and tired the day after the race .
I also wanted to carry two smaller bottles - one I froze .
This turned out to be too much . I ended up tossing both those bottles because there were water stations almost every mile .
I updated my Spotify running playlist .
I did some jogging stretching and took an epsom salt bath .
As for my shoes - I had decided to try the hokas ! Someone on fb recommended sleeping in them and taking out the new insole and wearing your worn in insole . I felt like this could help - and if it got really bad 1 I could ball my husband and see if he could meet me somewhere along the course and bring me my brooks .
I tried to get to sleep as early as possible - I even took melatonin . I typed up my mile by mile plan and started dedicated each mile with a person in my life . This was one the the things that helped me the most on rCe day . I know I could probably just wing it and try to think of people as I ran but having the names dedicated and typed in to each mile really helped me to not have to work so hard your brain and body is already on overload so having the names Artie decided and typed in was easy and efficient. You can be darned sure I wasn’t going to give up if it was during a mile for someone I cared about !
The race started at 7:00 am Saturday morning . I had the advantage of not only training on the course itself and living near it but also only being 15 minute from the start at pier park .
This also made it possible to do another technique I got from a podcast of visualization.
As I lay in the bath the night before , I visualized myself at each mile - and pictured myself running strong and confident - and pain free . I pictured all of it - from waking up to triumphantly crossing the finish line .
So I was ready when my alarms went off at 5:11 am !
I went downstairs - put a half caff k cup in the keurig - I only did half because the tailwind also had caffeine and I was worried it would be too much .
The little coffee helped me accomplish my first challenge - force an earlier than usual morning poop ! The coffee and my nervousness helped ! There’s nothing worse than getting that grumble in your tummy mid run and knowing YOU HAVE TO FIND A PoRT A POTTY NOW . Not only does it waste precious time but you may not find a restroom in time ! Yikes ! To be sure I averted that disaster I also took an Imodium and packed 2 more in my run belt .
I quickly showered and got dressed . I saw that hubs had not set up our elf and the shelf - so feeling energetic I did it myself !
The weather was predicting 60s and 40 % chance of rain . I wore a white wicking tank that I personalizes with the cameo silhouette and some heat transfer . On the front it said “26.2 you serious and I’m jamie I though they said 2.62 miles .
Lol I also wore compression arm and leg sleeves . I wore my balega socks , and the new hokas ! I had a white visor as well .
I felt great ! I also made sure my phone and Garmin 235 were fully charged !
I made it to pier park and parked hear Margarita . I was so nervous and barely had time to stretch . I have to say the the pcb marathon has a great set up ! The medals are beautiful and even though it WAS NOT a closed course , the beach and scenery you run through it gorgeous . I was also so happy that they had pacers . I got in close to the 4 hour pacers because my starting strategy was to GO SLOW !!! I wanted to give my body all the chance it could to maintain strength ! And I did .
The gun went off and we were off .
This was literally my first time running in the carbon x and I was worried that because they were a carbon plated race shoe they might not be cushiony soft - but they were ! They felt light , springy and wonderful !! The first mile was a conservative 9 min pace . I decided by feel that I could move ahead to the next pace group . The 8:30 pace felt easy and good so I tried to settle in with that . The first mile was dedicated to my hubs ! He s just the best and so supportive !
Here is the run down of mile dedications . I recorded some shout outs on Instagram early on but it got hard to do later on in the race and by mile 20 my phone was almost dead . It was cloudy most of the way and temps felt perfect . When there were little gusts of wind it reminded to take a deep cleansing breath and nose breath / belly breath . This basically means that the more oxygen your body gets the more efficient you can run so I would breathe in my nose to the count of two hold it for a second and try to breathe out slow to the counter to the count of two.
I ran using the RunTempo app set to 102 so I could keep my cadence up - and it worked ! My average cadence was 180 !
Around mile 6 I turned on audible to listen to chi running . Danny dryer walks you through the running focuses and it helped me to remind my body what to do .
I was sipping tailwind the whole time - but also got water every other stop .
By the time we got to the state park I still felt strong and good and keep using visualization and mile dedication .
The park was the halfway point and even though mile 9 was a little strenuous - I was feeling good at mile 13 with a pace of 8.33 .
Running Back through The neighborhoods is always hard because even though we can run on the road it is pretty lonely and there aren’t many runners are spectators at all. In fact on the way back if there wasn’t another chick in front of me running I may have taken a wrong turn!
Mile 17 was One of the miles that I dedicated to my oldest son who passed away last October 2018 . As soon as I started thinking of him the sun peaks through the clouds and I was overcome with emotion .
Tears started streaming my face and I just prayed that he could know that I was thinking of him missing him and loving him.
Then at mile 18 it hit me- I took a full drink of water at the water station and started to feel a sharp pain in my side. It was a side cramp and usually I get them from eating or drinking too much before a run. Ironically This was the mile that I dedicated to God. when I got these in the past , you can’t run through them- they would get worse until I would be doubled over in pain. So I slow down to a walk and focused on breathing deep breath’s. Somehow I was able to pick the pace back up and the side stitch slowly released and then went away . Getting past mile 16 was important for me because it had been my longest run to date in this training cycle .
So if I would have to say that I hit a wall at any point it would be when I got that side cramp.
Crossing back over to the beach and getting past 20 miles was my next hurdle .
I tried doing a technique I heard about in the running rogue podcast called fishing- which is basically to find another runner catch up to them or to count to 30 seconds and try to push the pace a little bit. This helped me get to mile 22 . .i has told myself “ the last five miles are the easiest !” My ass , I thought as I struggled to wiggle my numb or hurting toes and relax my aching hamstring . I would try to do some skipping and butt kicks just to release some of the tension. At mile 16 and on - it was hard to get my pace under 9 miles but now I can see that if I can just do that ! I will be able to bq again !!!!
Mile 24-25 was finally upon me . My watch showed 3:29 and even though I accomplished my goal of finishing uninjured in my mind - now I was so close to a Boston qualifying time . I knew it probably wasn’t possible and it really bummed me out . But even though I was uncomfortable I reminded myself I was almost there and had to finish as strong as possible ! Mile 26 was dedicated to my baby girl and I visualized holding her in my arms. I pushed through the pain it took to pick up the pace and sure enough as I got close to the .2 mile turn to finish I saw my husband had been able to bring my son and daughter to cheer me to the end ! I was in tears and fought to finish strong to the end . I felt like I was sprinting but it ended up being an 8.38 mile - and I was able to pass quite a few runners ( May be in my age group ) on that last mile .
The feeling of stumbling through the finish line is like nothing I have ever felt . It is a mixture of elation , relief and exhilaration- but also pain . When you finally stop - you body starts to remind you all of those parts that you over used and it hurts ! My hubs met me and we shuffled up to Margarita for my free beer . I was not hungry AT ALL ! But felt thirsty . We also got a tigers blood Kona ice that was to die for !!
They weren’t doing the awards for the marathon until after noon so we went to bw3s for some lunch . Like I said I wasn’t too hungry but I tried eating some Asian zing boneless wings and drank a large unsweet tea . I was drenched in sweat and wished they had hot tea
. After lunch we went back to Margaritaville And even though I knew my time was 3:50 and 39 out of 140 but I didn’t know my place in my age group . When They got to 35-39 and announced my name in first place I screamed and ran to the stage with em in my arms to get my goal medal . the funny thing is my best race time for this marathon was 3.41 and I only got third in my age group . 2017 I got second . And 2019 I got first !!!!
After the awards we went to the car to head home . The sun was out full force and it was a beautiful day !
As soon as we got home - I stripped off my sweat drenched clothes and ran a hot bath FULL OF runner Epson salts .
It was literally heaven . After I got out Emerson and I took the best nap of our lives and woke up around 4 pm . I was ravenous and snacked on everything until we made pizza for dinner and I made a side of hot Irish oatmeal !
We all went to bed early ( even after that nap ) and I woke up feeling like a train wreck - but I was too happy to complain - it’s a good hurt and I look forward to recovering fully . My hamstring was sore but not to the point of a strain . My right knee was also tender . My second toes on both feet hurt . I had a blister on the left toe and will probably lose the right toe nail . My left arm that was holding my water bottle hurt. My back is a little sore but overall - it’s nothing out of the marathon ordinary .
I’m so proud of how it went - I had an unforgettable experience and can’t wait for the Disney marathon soon !!!! My Mile Dedications that I typed into my phone and checked periodically! Mile 1 - jamey (husband)
Mile 2 - mom
Mile 3 - timmy - leg swings , water
Mile 4- Liz
Mile 5 - Leah & Davis fam
Mile 6 - Ross
Mile 7- my stepdad Bob
Mile 8 - Marj & joe
Mile 9 - Kerri. Do burpees - moving meditation
Start with head - relax , face , shoulders , legs , toes
Mile 10 - masons birthday June 4 2001
Mile 11- Aunt Tiffy & fam ❤️
Mile 12 - Lauren , Danny & fam
1 Advil - leg swings
Mile 13 - me ! - m&ms HALF WAY
Mile 14 - Sarah & Aaron
Mile 15 - Lois ! . Do burpees - go fishing
Mile 16 mason 3rd grade
Mile 17 mason- 16& 17 😭
Mile 18 God . ❤️Do moving meditation or counting just next 30 seconds
Mile 19 - Jesus 👏🏻
Mile 20 - mr & mrs cooney
Mile 21 CELEBRATE - dedicated to Maddie - 😍only 5 miles left - eat some m&ms
Mile 22 my dad ❤️
Mile 23 My uncle tim
Mile 24- go fish - dedicated mason graduating middle school
As a procrastinator, I am great at cramming in everything I can at the very last second. Reading, watching youtube videos about marathon tips is all I have been doing the last couple days in hopes of doing well this Saturday at the Panama City Beach Marathon. Last year, because the hurricane, the marathon was canceled. I think the still held the 5k and maybe even the half marathon. I was still pregnant with Emerson so I had a good excuse not to participate. This year, I wasn't sure if I was going to run it because my major goal was to register, run and train for the Disney Marathon in January. My training has NOT been ideal. I haven't gotten to get in enough quality long runs because I am still nursing Emerson and my hubs has JUST now gotten comfortable watching her along for longer periods of time. So now that the marathon is THIS saturday, I feel EXTREMELY nervous and unprepared.
My goal of course is to finish and not injure myself. But that means i have to sacrifice ANY PR or chance of BQ which is hard for me to let go of. I am trying to treat this as a trial or training run for Disney and just kind of 'wing' it. I have told myself- to stay conservative for the first half. My plan is :
Start pace not less than 9 minute mile- or more (for 13 miles- until i get to St Andrews state park- through the neighborhoods- I will go by feel as well)
Every 30 minutes- do leg swings then burpees.
Take a gel every 30 minutes
Pack immodium AD, headphones, Aleve, Put on pain cream before and bring some with me to slap on if needed. Take aleve at the half.
Bring M&Ms to munch on!
Do drills if feeling hurt/tired- high knees, skip, butt kicks
Focus on relaxing legs and running on mid to forefont NOT heel
Maintain cadence with the metronome app Run
Tape hamstring
Nose breathing- MEDITATION
So that's it! I just hope I can finish and feel good !
Is it just me or do all mommies feel like their baby's first year just flies by! Honestly I can not believe she is almost 11 months old and soon I will have to refer to her as my 'toddler' instead of my baby! Yeah right- you know this lil one will ALWAYS be mommy's baby! One thing that has NOT flown by is the baby weight! I started back with running and working out AS SOON as I got the go ahead from my doctor after the 6 week check up. Honestly my labor and delivery were SO EASY with Emerson that I didn't even think I would have to wait that long. But I did JUST in case because I wanted to be sure I did not injure myself.
Me after a run in January- 6 weeks after having baby
I took this picture KNOWING I felt super out of shape
Summer 2019- Not feeling in shape
Starting back running was a VERY humbling experience. I was winded and the worst part COULD NOT HOLD IN MY PEE! I literally peed my pants everytime I attempted to run! I also tried getting back into body pump. I took that VERY easy and only used light weights. I got body pump certified while I was pregnant and really wanted to stick with it after I gave birth. Both of those endeavors were rough and always felt like a struggle. But I was dedicated and was running at least 3 or more miles on the treadmill AND doing some type of weight training or a few tracks of body pump a couple times a week.
We live in Panama City and own a pontoon and my goal was to feel good about putting on a bikini by summer time. Well - I lost a little weight- 2-5 pounds but could not tell when I looked in the mirror. So of course I jumped on the Keto Craze!
No matter what I tried I could see NO RESULTs
I try to limit carbs as a rule anyway so figured it would be easy. Well it wasn't! Since I was breastfeeding I was STARVING ALL the time. And my go to snack was either meat, cheese or nuts. Plus- it was almost IMPOSSIBLE to stick to. Especially with my hubs and kids. They WERE NOT going to do Keto so by dinner time I was just going to eat whatever our family was eating. So I wasn't really sticking to it strictly but I figured even 'dirty keto' was better than no keto. YEAH right! I feel like I GAINED weight or at least felt 'heavier' and just not good.
It wasn't until I finally made a hair appointment in August that my hair dresser told me about Weight Watchers. I made the comment that she looked like she lost weight and looked great and she told me all about the app. She even sent me an email referral- (which I can send to anyone interested) for one free month of just the digital version (the app). So I excitedly downloaded it and signed up! I got 3 months for $20 ! (Usually it is $19.99 a month for just the app)
I originally signed up for the breastfeeding points plan which gave me at least 41 points. I LOVED IT !!! Especially seeing all the 0 point foods I was allowed to eat - I LOVE FRUIT! and you can eat UNLIMITED amounts of fruit- even bananas! I was so stoked. I also could eat anything the family was eating. So I just made sure to budget my points to include whatever dinner we might make.
I originally set a modest goal for 10 pounds. I am 5'4" and weighed 129 when I started the WW app in August 2019. By October 2018 I HAD LOST 9 POUNDS!
I could run in my sports bra!
I felt amazing! I finally felt like I didn't wake up with a pooch. My tummy actually looked more defined. My legs weren't so jiggly and I could fit in the jean shorts that i accidently ordered a size 4 from H&M ( I wear a size 4 but H&M sizes are always a bit smaller than other brands!)
I did start to adjust my points because my daughter was eating more and more solid foods so I dropped the extra points and now am at 23 points a day. It is way harder to stay under the 23 points compared to the 41 but I always have a pool of 'weeklies' points that i can dip into and it relieves me of the guilt I would have felt otherwise. That diet guilt can really sabotage your progress if it causes you to 'throw in towel and think- well I messed up so I might as well eat a whole cheesecake now !"
November 2019
Now I am trying maintain and maybe even lose more. I did not really use the app during our week long cruise in early October. We went to Spain, France and Italy and I wanted to be able to enjoy all the amazing authentic food. It was worth it but it definitely set me back! So i think I gained two pounds bringing me back up to 122 but I'm pretty confident that following my WW points strictly will get me back down in no time.
I came in 1st place female on a 10K Halloween race!
October 2018 on our cruise
One of my FAVORITE recipes to make is HEALTHY FRUIT ROLL UPS! Regular fruit roll ups are only 2 points but if you are like me- 1 is JUST not enough. I could literally eat an entire box in one sitting (and have before ! LOL) So I wanted to make some that are 0 points! The app has a cool feature where you can build your own recipe. So here it is!
INGREDIENTS:
1 jar of unsweetened applesauce
1 container of blueberries
Grapes
strawberries or any other fresh fruit you have on hand!
(does not seem to work as well with frozen fruit- it creates more of a fruit cracker than chewy fruit leather)
I have tried different fruits but the base is just unsweetened applesauce. I take a whole jar, throw it in the food processor with other fruits (usually fresh blueberries - I use the soft not so fresh crunchy ones ) and blend it up.
Then I get two cookie sheets, lay down parchment paper and pour half of the fruit puree in each. You can even throw in a little spinach if you want to be 'extra healthy!'
I set the oven to 200 degrees and let them bake AT LEAST an hour - sometimes it take 3 or more hours if you layer of puree is especially thick.
The time is the only drawback as it does take a WHILE to dry out the puree. Sometimes I have left it in over 4 hours and it will turn crunchy like fruit chips AND IS STILL delicious. So I make this in the morning and by the afternoon I have two whole cookie sheets full of fruit leather (and it usually disappears in about 10 minutes!)
October used to be one of my favorite months. I love Halloween and getting to dress up and take the kids trick or treating. I also have a slight addiction to horror movies and the occult so that also makes it a month that I usually enjoy just because of all the movies that are playing.
Unfortunately, I have been dreading October this year because it marks the one year anniversary of losing my 17 year old, Mason.
I don't think my husband planned our cruise with that in mind but it was a helpful distraction early on in the month because I was preoccupied with packing and preparing to take our kids and I across the world to Europe.
Distractions and denial are the only things that have kept me sane this year. But up until a few days before our cruise, I wasn't even excited or happy to be going. I tried explaining it to my therapist. I told her that before I lost Mason, this cruise would have me in ecstatic vacation mode all month long. But I just have felt ....well nothing. I honestly felt a little put off having to even go. My therapist asked if it was because I felt like i didn't deserve to be happy. I do not really think it is that either. I just have trouble looking forward to anything- maybe because I know Mason will never get the chance to experience these things. And if he can't- I don't want to either.
With that being said- I am very grateful for the opportunity to go on such an extravagant vacation. Before my loss, I had always wanted to go to Italy. It was an ultimate bucket list experience.
We left on Friday October 11th, around noon and drove to Orlando. My husband got cheaper tickets flying from there to Amsterdam. Our flights were around 9:50 pm. We figured this would allow the kids to sleep. We were flying on Delta, which normally I really like. We arranged to park our car at the Hilton closest to the airport because it was cheaper than paying for airport parking.
The car ride to Orlando was about 6 hours. And NOT fun. My 10 month old daughter, Emerson DOES NOT like the car much. And even though I was sitting next to her, she had several melt downs where she just wanted out and for me to hold her. She is exclusively still breast feeding as well and will not take a bottle. It has its benefits and its drawbacks- and being in the car is one of them.
Despite a weary little baby, we made it to Orlando and got the car situated and headed to the airport on the shuttle. My husband had TSA precheck and it helped us speed through security. Initially my husband wanted us to try to carry on all of our bags but upon getting to the airport with all of our bags and compact stroller AND his work laptop- he said we could check our suitcases. I was REALLY frustrated because had I known that we were checking bags, I could have brought my larger suitcase! Honestly looking back on it, I probably didn't need to pack more but I definitely would have had I known.
After getting to our gate, we still had plenty of time to eat so we got a table at the Bahama Breeze. We were starving so we ordered a salad, loaded nachos, and shrimp. I am still using Weight Watchers to track what I am eating and that dinner used up all my points but was well worth it.
Boarding a plane with a baby is nice because they call you pretty much after first class. Our seats however were SUPER CRAMPED. We were sat behind another couple with a 1 year old baby. They were RIGHT behind the bulk head and the stewardesses brought them some type of bassinet that hooked onto the wall in front of them. At first I thought, well that's cool. But Emerson loves being held so no big deal. Well little did I know that - yes my little adorable 10 month old was going to sleep through the entire flight BUT that I would have to stay awake and hold her the ENTIRE TIME. So that meant no sleep for mommy and an aching back- and numb legs, arms from holding her. I was MISERABLE and kept looking up at the baby sleeping in the bassinet in front of us with envy! I told my husband that we BETTER GET THAT SEAT - with the bassinet on the way back or I was going to LOSE IT! So if you are going to be flying over night or that long with a baby- GET THOSE SEATS (I think they are first come first serve so you have to get to the gate early.) I also heard that there is something called a SkyPal? sky bed for babies. I really wish we would have known about this before we flew! https://www.amazon.com/Inflatable-Airplane-Available-Adjustable-Toddlers/dp/B07DQBY83F/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=sky+pal+baby+bed&qid=1572447887&sr=8-1
We somehow survived the 8 hour flight- I nodded off a few times and Jamey held Emerson (so I wouldn't drop her) We didn't have much time between flights so we made our way straight to the gate and were flying with a Dutch company called KLM. Luckily the flight was shorter and we had more space where our seats were. We landed in Barcelona in the afternoon and went to retrieve our luggage. After that we hailed a cab to take us to our hotel, Alexandra.
The driver was going super fast but we were still able to see a lot of the city. I especially wanted to see the Gaudi architecture throughout the city.
Our hotel in Barcelona WAS AWESOME! It was on the 7th floor (I think) and had a nice balcony overlooking the city. We got changed, put away our luggage and headed out to explore the city on foot.
We found a great tapas place and ate a few different appetizers.
As you can imagine we were exhausted so we didn't stay out long and headed back to the room. The next day we showered, got dressed and got a taxi to the port in Barcelona where we were boarding our ship, The Brilliance of the Seas. It is a smaller ship compared to others but we had a very nice junior suite and a large balcony overlooking the water. It was plenty of space for our little family.
We took the kids to dinner on the first night with us to Chops- one of our favorite specialty restaurants. It was actually the restaurant where my husband proposed to me in 2017!!!
The first port we were arriving at was VilleFranche, France. My husband is a total type A Virgo so he had our entire trip planned down to the minute! He even put it all in a binder ! LOL This is the total opposite of me and I truly appreciate all his work and preparation. France was beautiful. We took a train to the Oceanographic Museum in Monaco . We had lunch at the top of the museum. We walked around the whole city but had to get back to the train station and ship before 6 pm. Not a lot of people speak English in Monaco and we had to ask for help to hail a cab!
That night we ate at the Izumi restaurant and had sushi!
DAY 2- October 15th :We were originally were supposed to dock in Portofino Italy but because of bad weather we had to go to Genova Italy instead. We didnot have anything specific planned for that port so we just got off the boat and walked around the city on foot. We found the birthplace of Christopher Columbus, which was kind of neat to see. It was rainy and chilly so not the best weather but the architecture in the city was really neat and we ate at a delicious little place I think called Foccacia? I think.
DAY 3 - FLORENCE!!! This was one of the coolest days of the whole cruise for me. Florence is a center for the arts and home to many amazing historical artists such as Da Vinci, Michelangelo, etc. The city was beautiful and Jamey arranged for us to have a walking tour guide named Barbara. She was great and showed us some many interesting places and unbelievable art work.
DAY 4 ROME October 17
Rome was a huge city. We walked around the city and made our way to the Vatican City. We went to the Vatican museum and saw the Sistine chapel! It was very crowded but the artwork was breathtaking. We were not allowed to take pictures inside the Sistine chapel but other areas were okay.
Italian Gelato is AMAZING!
There was a lot of contemporary art housed in the Vatican as well. Here is a Matisse!
Ciao Baby!
Almafi Coast
The hike of the Path of the Gods was by far my favorite part of the whole trip, although I loved ALL of Italy. My husband arranged our hike through a company called Joe Banana Limo. The driver picked us up at the port in Saverno, Italy. The weather was gorgeous and he drove us about 35-40 minutes up to the beginning of the path- along the coast. I could even see Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii- although we didnt have time to actually visit that area. We met our hiking guide, Luca at a small cafe. My husband and I love hiking and have hiked in Maine, and other areas but the views we saw on the Path of the Gods were unlike anything we had seen before. I was carrying our daughter in her baby carrier so it was quite a workout. We had walking poles but some parts were pretty technical and we had to use our hands. I was trying to be extra careful and slow because any type of fall would have been bad for my little one. Our 8 year old son, Rudy did a great job. He talked to our guide A LOT - (about Minecraft) we had to cut him off a couple times lol. The hike led us to a gorgeous restaurant in the side of the mountain called La Fattoria. The food was amazing and we were starving. I have to say that I have never been a huge fan of Italian food but you just can't compare the food in America to the authentic hand made food you get in Italy. My Weight watchers went out the window and I just devoured as much pasta, dessert and even wine that I was served!
After lunch, our driver took us to the little town of Portofino and we got to walk around the shops and see the beach. I got Emerson a cute dress and Rudy a shirt. There was a really neat church that we went in to and I wish I would have brought some of my son's ashes or one of his memorial notes. I thought about him, told him I missed him and said a prayer for him.
We were exhausted by the time we got back to the boat. I think we just ate at the Windjammer that night.....
Overall I loved our vacation and got the opportunity to see art work and things that I have always dreamed of. I definitely could live in Italy. It is such a beautiful county. I think we both felt like we needed more time during the day to explore each area we stopped at. For that reason, our next trip will probably not involve the cruise part. There is just too much to see and do and not enough time to get back to the ship.
so we are continuing to nurse but I am really trying to offer milk and lots of food during the day and cutting down on as many feedings as possible . I’m so thankful again that we have made it this far and attribute the fact that she hasn’t really been sick or gotten any ear infections in her life to breastfeeding and also not being in day care of course but mama is ready to get some independence back ! And maybe Even head back to teaching next school year .
